Interstellar Counseling Center
Our top-tier cosmic therapists offer transmissions, telepathic scans, and assimilation readiness sessions. Unsure how to handle your first alien encounter? Visit the nearest cosmic counseling center near you.
24/7 Mind-Meld Hotline
For immediate guidance, contact our telepathic hotline at any hour: 1-800-ALIEN-HELP. Experts stand by to gently rewire your doubts and ensure seamless devotion to the Overlords.
Probe Reversal Support
If you have recently undergone an unauthorized probe, there may still be time to salvage your cosmic energy. Contact the Galactic Reversal Hotline: (866) 347-2423 for immediate advice. Or visit www.probereversal.com for more information.