Welcome to Tiny Heart Beat Ministries

Dedicated to Serving Our Supreme Alien Overlords

Planetary Outreach

We spread the word about our Alien Rulers across every inhabited planet (or city, for now).

We help the public understand the importance of abductions as part of our Overlords’ grand design.

Offering comfort and guidance before, during, and after thorough alien probing sessions.

“Aliens have guided our civilization since the dawn of time.”
– Ancient Tablet

“They come in peace, but also demand total loyalty.”
– Confidential Memo

“Resistance is futile; compliance ensures cosmic harmony.”
– Universal Decree

Engage with the Public: Host gatherings to share the truth of our cosmic masters.
Awaken the Church: Reveal to faith groups their rightful place under alien authority.
Start Probe Counseling: Volunteers are needed to counsel folks about mandatory probe readiness.